The use of pronouns is an essential part of acknowledging and respecting an individual’s gender identity. Pronouns are an important aspect of language that allow us to refer to individuals without making assumptions about their gender. However, the way we use language to refer to gender can be fraught with complexity and nuance, particularly when it comes to addressing individuals who identify outside the traditional gender binary.
One common phrase that has been used in discussions about gender and pronouns is “preferred pronouns.” While the intention behind the use of this phrase may be well-meaning, it can actually be harmful and dismissive to individuals who are marginalized because of their gender identity.
Using the term “preferred pronouns” implies that an individual’s gender identity and pronouns are a preference or a choice rather than an integral aspect of their identity. This can be harmful, as it reinforces the idea that gender identity is something that is chosen rather than an innate aspect of a person’s identity. For individuals who identify outside the traditional gender binary, this can be particularly harmful, as it reinforces the idea that their gender identity is not valid or real.
Furthermore, using the term “preferred pronouns” can also suggest that it is optional or up to the individual whether or not to share their gender identity and pronouns. However, it is important to acknowledge and respect an individual’s gender identity and pronouns regardless of whether or not they choose to share them. By using the term “preferred pronouns,” we may unintentionally suggest that it is optional for individuals to share their pronouns, which can create an environment that is unwelcoming to individuals who are marginalized because of their gender identity.
The term “preferred” can also suggest that an individual’s pronouns are negotiable or subject to change when in fact, they are not. An individual’s pronouns are an essential aspect of their identity, and it is not a matter of preference or choice. Using the term “preferred pronouns” can imply that an individual has some control over their pronouns when in reality, they are a fundamental aspect of their identity that should be respected and acknowledged. Therefore, it is important to use language that accurately reflects the reality of gender identity and pronouns and acknowledges that they are an integral and non-negotiable part of an individual’s identity.
Instead, it is more accurate and respectful to simply use the term “pronouns” when asking for or referring to an individual’s gender identity. By doing so, we acknowledge and affirm an individual’s gender identity as an integral aspect of their identity rather than a preference or choice. This creates a more inclusive and respectful environment that acknowledges the diverse experiences and identities of all individuals.
It’s also important to note that using someone’s correct pronouns is not only respectful but also a legal requirement in many places. Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, discrimination based on sex includes discrimination based on gender identity and gender expression. This means that employers, schools, and other organizations are required to use an individual’s correct pronouns as part of their non-discrimination policies.
In conclusion, using the term “preferred pronouns” can be harmful and dismissive to individuals who are marginalized because of their gender identity. Instead, we should simply use the term “pronouns” when referring to or asking for an individual’s gender identity. By doing so, we create a more inclusive and respectful environment that acknowledges the diverse experiences and identities of all individuals.